thekoalaofrandomness said: o.o May I ask why you think red pandas are bullshit? Not hating or anything was just wondering if there was a reason behind it. You don't have to answer if you don't want to just thought I'd ask.
I don’t mind being asked at all! Here’s why red pandas are bullshit:
They can’t be bothered to be closely genetically linked to anything. Despite originally being categorized as linked somewhere between raccoons and bears, they’ve since been given their own category on the evolutionary tree. Guess nothing was good enough for those shitheads.
They’re so cute, it’s kind of obnoxious. Very few things are that cute without conscious breeding efforts to engineer cuteness, so the fact they came up with it on their own just seems manipulative on their part. I refuse to buy into their crap.
Like most obscenely cute things, they’re really good for nothing. They eat bamboo as a general rule, and hardly enough insects or fruit to be considered useful to controlling populations or redistributing seeds. Their continued existence is most like an oversight than a necessity. The only positive effect they’ve ever had on the environment has been being cute, hence cute creature > save it > save its habitat. Not because, y’know, of any important reason, like saving the planet, just “ooohh lookit itscutelittlefaceawwww, we can’t let that die! Let’s save the environment so it can shit adorably in it.”
It’s also a personal grudge of mine when things get named after colors they are definitely not. Red pandas are orange, at best. Just like 99% of flowers considered “blue” are fucking purple. Would it really have killed biologists to call it the “orange panda?” No. The name is stupid.
(Pictured above: Nothing red.)
In general, I see red pandas as little more than useless genetic diversions. There are so many other creatures out there that are less conventionally cute, far more endangered, and far more useful to the planet, yet don’t get nearly the same level of adoration and conservation because they’re simply not as saccharinly useless. Most vultures spring to mind.